Today, I embark upon a new journey. I have a quilt that is pieced, sandwiched and pin basted. It has been that way for 3 weeks. It has gone from teasing me with the promise of newness, taunting me that I'm scared, begging for me to come put a stitch in it, to yelling and cursing "Da** you, woman!! Come work on me, now!" (And considering that it's a baby quilt, it's going to need it's mouth washed out now to teach it to not say words like that!)
I have checked out books from the library on machine quilting. I have bought a free motion foot for my machine. I have surfed the web searching for hints and ideas on patterns and ease. I have made some small samples. Yet I have still to put one stitch in the actual quilt. I'm scared to.
I'm scared that I'll mess it up somehow. To be perfectly honest, what really scares me is the straight foundation stitching. I still can't get my straight stitches even, much less perfectly straight. Now, I know, perfection doesn't exist in home-made items, especially when made for small children. But, this quilt is for a close friend's first baby. She'll be using this everyday, and at some point, she'll start looking at it in detail. What if she notices the wobbly lines? What if the stitches are so uneven that she see them from a distance and seriously packs it up, only pulling it out when I come over? Or, even worse, what if I get going, look at the stitches myself, and think they're horrible? I can always pull them out and try again, I mean, that's why some wonderful person years ago created the seam ripper, right? But I am afraid of disappointing myself.
I have been so excited about this project for months, and once I started piecing the quilt, it just flew together. Right now, it's perfect. I'm afraid that my inexperienced machine quilting will take it from perfection to the rag heap. And yet, I must do it. She's already seen the quilt, she knows I'm making it, and she loves it already. Which means I have to finish it. Which basically means I need to stop whining, log off the computer, and move to the sewing machine. Here, I feel safe, though. Here, I know what I'm doing. When I get to the machine, I don't. And that scares me.